Short Weird Tales

A tale about a bear having a hard time finding a new roof for his home

Once upon a time, there was a bear named Nome that lived in a large orange house.

The orange house was boring to look at. Nome wanted a cool house so he decided to renovate it. He thought about demolishing the house and rebuild it but instead he decide to only change the roof.


This is unacceptable. No more raccoons!

Illustration made by the author.

Son, we need to talk. We need to talk about the giant raccoon that’s in your closet. We can’t keep him.

In the past week, he has left tree trunk sized droppings in every room in this house. He has ate our furniture and our car. He has pissed in our sink and in our garden. Our home smells like an overnight unflushed toilet. This is unacceptable.

We know that you love animals and they love you but you can’t keep bringing them in.

Remember the last time you brought in that komodo dragon the other day? You begged and…


Remove all strings from an array

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

We are going to write a function called filter_list that will accept an array, l, as an argument.

You are given an array of integers and strings. The goal of the function is to return a new array of the same elements but without the strings.

Example:

filter_list([1,2,'a','b']) 
//output: [1,2]
filter_list([1,'a','b',0,15])
// output: [1,0,15]

This function is pretty short so first we start by using the filter method to filter out the strings from the input array. To check if an element is a string or a number, we use the typeof operator. …


Reverse every word in a string

Photo by Lukas Robertson on Unsplash

We are going to write a function called reverseWords that accepts a string, str, as an argument.

You are given a string of varying word counts. The goal of the function is to reverse every word in the string and return it.

Example:

reverseWords('The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.')
// output: 'ehT kciuq nworb xof spmuj revo eht yzal .god'

The first thing we are going to do is create a variable called reverseWordArr. This variable will contain our string in array form.

let reverseWordArr = str.split(" ")

Since we want to create another array but containing…


How to square each number in an array and return the sum of all the numbers.

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

We are going to write a function called squareSum, that accepts an array of integers, numbers, an argument.

You are given an array of positive and/or negative numbers. The goal of the function is to square each number in the array and sum the results of the squares together. The function returns that sum.

Example:

squareSum([0, 3, 4, 5]) //output: 50

If we squared each number and add them together,

0^2 + 3^2 + 4^2 + 5^2 = 0 + 9 + 16 + 25 = 50

we get a total of 50.

Let’s begin.

First, we create a variable…


Given a set of numbers, return the additive inverse of each.

Photo by Tony Hand on Unsplash

We are going to write a function called, invert, that will accept an array of numbers, array, as an argument.

You are given an array containing both positive and negative values. The goal of the function is to return the inverse of each of the numbers. In other words, make all negative values positive and make all positive values negative.

Example:

invert([-17,-6,-15,0,-20,-77,-47])
// output: [17, 6, 15, -0, 20, 77, 47]

From the example above you will see that all the negative values are positive and all the negative values are positive in the output array. Also in the output…


Returns the time since midnight in milliseconds

Photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash

We are going to write a function called past that will accept three integers, h, m, s, as an integer.

There is a clock that shows the time in hours h, minutes m, and seconds s. The hours, minutes, and seconds shows the time since midnight. The goal of the function is to return the time in milliseconds.

Example:

past(1,1,1) // output: 3661000

In the example above the clock shows 1 hour, 1 minute, and 1 second had passed since midnight.

To convert the time from seconds to milliseconds, you multiply:

seconds x 1000

To convert the time from minutes…


A purely adorable and innocent story about male chickens

Once upon a time, there was a male chicken named Dick. Dick had other friends who were also Dicks.


The mysterious candle that made your home smell like a breakfast kitchen

This candle looks normal but it’s not.

Once upon a time, there was a candle that smelled like Canadian bacon. No one knew why it smelled that way.

The candle was advertised to smell like mint and cinnamon but it smelled like bacon.

People that bought it returned it but no store could accept it. It smelled too pungent. The longer it burned the stronger the bacon smell. Next thing the smell started getting into the walls. When the candle burned out, the entire house continued to smell like Canadian bacon for 40 days.

You could smell the candle from outside the house. It smelled like a…

Erica N

An illustrator that writes humor and satire about everything and nothing at the same time.

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